Warmth

I'm lifting up my sincerest thanks to You, Lord!

Today, I hope that as I look up the sky,

my smile would beam the heavens.

I woke with Your embrace in the cold morning,

the first warmth I felt before sunrise.

The moment my mother saw me open my eyes, 

she sang me a Happy Birthday.

I thought it may almost be akin to the first time

she saw me open my little eyes to the world.

My sister whom I slept beside with

gently touched my head as a greeting.

My eldest sister gave me a crazy song and dance number.

My father greeted me and rejoiced with me

as I faced a day of birthday leave.

When I picked up my phone and unlocked it,

more greetings, I love you's, 

and heartfelt messages welcomed me. 

Unworthy I was, for I never thought I am that loved. 

I know it was a teaching on gratitude,  Lord. 

Oh, my mornings never felt that warm!

Lord, You've walked with me through these years,

rocky, steep or narrow the paths had been.

You have never left me,

nor lifted Your gaze upon me.

Certainly, even by the time my memory fails me, 

I won't forget the warmth of Your hands. 

Your hands that molded me, 

the first that touched my cheek when I was born. 

Your hands that held me and helped me to my feet 

when I was learning to walk.

Your hands that comforted me when I was in pain.

Your hands that tapped my back when I was feeling down. 

Your hands that're holding mine now

as I continue to tread the earth.

Lord, if there's one thing I must celebrate on my birthday,

it's the fact that You chose me,

me against the infinite possibility!

This feeble sinful me,

who You knew would hurt you,

but still chose to share Your warmth with.

Dear Lord

Dear Lord,

My teachers in Coursera told us to write a gratitude letter to a person whom we have never properly thanked. And I thought, it had to be You.

I'd like to start this gratitude letter with a big big SORRY. I am so sorry, Lord, for I've not been grateful enough. I know You have loved me and is still loving me unto the depths of me. I know, as well, that You've given me all You thought I needed. However, I've never been amply thankful for any of that. All I chose to see was darkness. I've been too perfectionist over my life when I've also been well aware that there's no such thing as 'perfect' life. I want to sincerely say sorry, Lord.

Writing this gratitude letter makes me realize that my life isn't an empty bowl. Actually, it is an overflowing one. You've filled it and still pouring in it gallons of nourishing water. I was expecting for something else. I forgot that Your blood and water is more than enough to keep me alive. I forgot that Your love alone should suffice.

You are in everything, Lord. I can feel You through the sweet refreshing breeze of the morning. I can see You in those calm and brightest rays of the sun. I can smell You in the fragrance of fresh flowers, water and leaves, all combined together. I can touch You by grazing upon the cheek of my loved one. I am surrounded by Your love and beauty, Lord, without me realizing it.

Thank You, Lord. I know that it is You who help us find food to eat and water to drink each day. It is You who shield our shelter from violent earthquakes and heavy rain. You, who protect my loved ones whenever I'm not around to save them. You, who find us money to buy shoes to cover our feet and clothes to warm our body. It is You, and nothing but You, the Great Provider.

You are there for me whenever I thought You're not. I had the most difficult times. My faith came to a point of failing. I even thought You forgot about me. I thought I've become too much of a sinner to lose Your favor. But in the end, I realized that I was completely wrong. You were there, You've been there, and You'll always be there for me. That all I needed was for my eyes to see and my heart to feel that You've been a faithful lover. That there must be the hard times for love to grow.

You are there in my success, happiness and dreams. You lift me in victory, laugh with me, and daydream with me. I forgot how You would love to see me smile, and to hear me speak of beautiful things. I forgot how You would love to put sparkle on my eyes and fill my heart with deep gladness. Thank You, Lord. I am very grateful; no other words could suffice.

Lord, I am genuinely thankful, most especially, for my family, relatives and friends. Truly, Your love is personified in each of them. Living wouldn't be more meaningful without such a great company. I thank You, Lord, for I am surrounded with loving people; for I am cared for; for I am helped in times of need; for I am comforted in times of grief; for I am directed whenever I am lost, and; for I am forgiven whenever I am at fault.

I don't know how to end this letter, Lord. There's just too many things to be thankful for. Was I able to properly thank You? Your goodness is endless...and (aha!) so is this letter...

Remember This When You Are With People

I realized that more than anything else, our relationship with people especially with our family, counts as the most essential thing in the world.

Currently, I'm having difficulties reaching my career goals. I think I know what I really want, but I earned a different degree because I accorded to what my parents wanted me to do; now, I got to go back to square one. Initially, I felt so burdened by this. I spent time thinking about it over and over again, creating several revamps on my career plan. My eyes hurt because of non-stop research I did in the computer. My feet callused and sore from job hunting. My head ached perennially because of doubts and worries. However, one day, some sort of light came upon me and opened my eyes. I realized that I'd rather have problems with my career rather than with my relationships. I'd rather feel bad about myself for not yet seeing my dreams happening in real life than to feel bad about myself for shouting or insulting or hurting somebody I loved. I realized that it is a lot easier to resolve things that are still within my control than to amend things I've done and can't ruefully bring back. 

From such contemplation, I formulated conclusions. And this list, I'll regularly read as a reminder to myself:

• Never ever burst out in anger. You don't know where anger can bring you or can make you bring to other people. At all times, in any situation, maintain composure. Think rationally. That's the wisest way to handle it. They say that the more hot headed you are, the weaker your mind or will is.

• Do not look for people's imperfections. You don't have to care a lot about how others present themselves or express themselves. Mind you, you're not perfect. If you desire to be accepted, other people desire for acceptance too. 

• Watch out of your words. Remember that if you, yourself, don't want to hear painful remarks from other people, then other people certainly wouldn't want to hear them too. Speak calmly and be nice at all times. If you think you have to assert yourself or to necessarily correct somebody, say it in the kindest way possible.

• Don't hesitate to give compliments and praises. When doing this, your goal shouldn't be to please the person, but to inform him/her. Be sincere when uttering compliments and praises. Learn to appreciate beauty and goodness and everything else worthy of recognition. You do not have to overdo this. One genuinely expressed sentence would certainly suffice.

• Help as much as you can. Doing good deeds can enrich relationships. Lend a hand whenever you can. What is losing 5 minutes or more when you're doing it for someone worthy of your time? Nevertheless, remember that you still need to have time for yourself. You shouldn't exhaust all your efforts for other people and leave nothing for yourself. Let me mark this however cliche: You can't give what you don't have.

• Strive to be happy no matter how bad your situation is. First things first, let me assure you that you have the ability to be happy no matter how bad the situation you're into. This is putting your mind at will. Your emotions should be controlled by your mind, not the other way around. Figure out what can make you smile or laugh. Look for the things that send you delight and make you feel lighter. Don't focus on that small dot in the center of your long pad paper. There is a vast space that surrounds it. When you're done with this, you'll see how your glow will positively affect the people around you. Take note: People are nicer when they're happy.

• Love yourself. Enrich your relationship with yourself too. If you find it difficult to love yourself, try to zoom out and see yourself as another person outside you. Appreciate her. Understand her. Take care of her. Show care and express your concern for her. Recognize her right to be loved. Try to see what your friends or loved ones can see in you. Be yourself's bestfriend.