Uncertainty

I am in a journey I didn't wish to start,

and I can see not where I am heading.

My map seems to point to Paradise though,

for the road lies in the Calvary

of bombarding uncertainty

and answered prayers,

but it's the same Calvary of dark abyss

where things are beyond my control,

where there's God's ringing silence,

and where I can only trust His heart.

I am in a journey I didn't wish to start,

and I can see not where I am heading,

so I just keep my eyes looking heavenward,

and my arms outstretched in worship.

I hold only to my faith, to the signs,

to my pain, and to my dreams.

I hold only to God's promises,

to that future, hope and prosperity.

I am in a journey I didn't wish to start.

I can see not where I am heading, but it's fine
for everyday I pray to God for surprises
and keeping things hidden and secret in the meantime
would make the unraveling a lot worthwhile.
Perhaps, God wants me to see
not the end of this journey, for all its worth,

so I could focus not on the end rewards

but on the beauty of the pilgrimage.

One True Love

Make my words thick with wisdom, Oh Lord,

and my songs of praise taste sweet in my lips.

May whatever comes out from the depths of my heart

be a fragrant scent to Your nose

and to the one You've prepared for me.

May we feel Your warmth as our eyes lock

and our hearts beat with the same passion for You.

Lord, we place our hands in Yours.

I pray that You bring us together

once we both brave the path of Adam and Eve

and abandon all other paths yet not ruefully,

once we're healed enough to touch each other's scars

when we run out of wisdom and strength,

and once we're ready to love each other for eternity

and to love You yet for more than our eternity.

In God's Perfect Time

Should I wait for green leaves to dry,

or for many storms to stop pelting down?

Then I will.

Should I wait for the orange-drenched sky,

or for a gold to lose its luster?

Then I will.

Should I wait for my bones to go a bit brittle,

or for my falling hair to grow thick as a roll of yarn?

Then I will.

Should I wait until the soles of my shoes go thin,

or 'til my nails grow long and be cut for the nth time?

Then I will.

If this is what it takes for God to align the stars

and get me a ride on the moon prepared,

then I will wait.

I will, as long as I behold that sunshine in my mind,

that morning when I would finally wake up

and breathe in the air I am waiting for.

I will, as long as I hold dear the fact

 that after a seemingly endless wait,

in God's perfect time,

what'll be in my arms 

will be perpetually worthwhile.

Reading for its sake

One day, I found myself deliberately reading faster than I used to.

I was hurriedly leafing the book's pages, I couldn't absorb the words well enough. I was in a rush to finish it because I was too excited to read the next book in line. I also thought it wasn't good for my writing as the author's writing style was far from my taste. It wasn't stimulating my creativity and thus was uninviting to the muse.

I couldn't afford to put the book away and just erase it in my list though. I wanted to finish it. The fact that it fell on to my hands, it was giving me the chance to know its insides. I didn't want to miss whatever it could offer. It certainly was a good book just as I thought in the other days. But I was in a hurry, and I realized that reading it this way is the same as not reading it.

So I closed the book, kept it and promised that I'll get back to it when I'm ready to indulge myself in its beauty again.

Strength of the Blemished

I come before You, Lord,

I, who is a selfish creature.

I own thoughts of greed by nature

and desires that solely benefit myself.

I aim for approval as much as

I grip the concept of self-worth.

I am weak, Lord, as much as this 

vale of soul-making needs me to be.

But I am glad to behold

such imperfections in the mirror,

for I won't touch what I don't know exists,

and thus change what I don't acknowledge.

Oh, I am weak yet I rejoice!

Because as long as I hold this fact,

You, O Lord, provides for me,

and my strength will be unceasing.

What's at the end of your road?

Most of us have eyes focused on prestige and material wealth.

We want to be proud of ourselves, to be looked up to.

We try too hard to stretch our arms out and grab as much of these as we can,

and find a valid reason to put forward our pompous selves.

But often, we forget how common this road has already been taken.

Superstars.

Great scientists.

Famous poets.

Internationally competent employees.

Successful businessmen.

100 richest people in the world.

And then what?

Turns out, these people are actually in the same journey as ours.

They're also stretching their arms out to reach something.

Love?

Happiness?

Healthy relationships?

Peace?

The world is a thirsty and soulless creature,

that vacuums life from the sources standing on it.

So if we'd depend on the world as much as it depends on us,

it'll give us endless quests, mazes with dead ends,

and the pain of having countless question marks in our heads.

Probably it's time to swerve, to shift our focus on

that narrow path laying dusty on our side.

Walk that road which few people take.

They said it's difficult, but it's worth it.

For even though it seems impossible for a camel

to go through the eye of a needle,

the Shepherd would certainly reward his faithful flock,

a reward greater than the greatest reward this world can offer,

something that is nourishing, calming and perpetually satisfying.

'Cause the fact is, it is what's at end of the road that'll last.

Quintessence

To be loved, my dear, 

may not be the essence of life

for it could be selfishness to think solely

of what the world puts on your hands.

It is rather a need, undoubtedly,

to feel that you're in somebody's heart,

for knowing your worth

can keep you alive.

To be loved, indeed,

isn't the quintessence of life,

for it's often about choosing between 

saving your own skin and sacrifice.
But still, how vital it is!

For it is through receiving

that you learn to give,

it is through being consoled

that you learn to console,

and it is through being loved

that you learn to love.

And that, my dear,

is the essence of life.