Sunday, January 19, 2014

Remember This When You Are With People

I realized that more than anything else, our relationship with people especially with our family, counts as the most essential thing in the world.

Currently, I'm having difficulties reaching my career goals. I think I know what I really want, but I earned a different degree because I accorded to what my parents wanted me to do; now, I got to go back to square one. Initially, I felt so burdened by this. I spent time thinking about it over and over again, creating several revamps on my career plan. My eyes hurt because of non-stop research I did in the computer. My feet callused and sore from job hunting. My head ached perennially because of doubts and worries. However, one day, some sort of light came upon me and opened my eyes. I realized that I'd rather have problems with my career rather than with my relationships. I'd rather feel bad about myself for not yet seeing my dreams happening in real life than to feel bad about myself for shouting or insulting or hurting somebody I loved. I realized that it is a lot easier to resolve things that are still within my control than to amend things I've done and can't ruefully bring back. 

From such contemplation, I formulated conclusions. And this list, I'll regularly read as a reminder to myself:
  • Never ever burst out in anger. You don't know where anger can bring you or can make you bring to other people. At all times, in any situation, maintain composure. Think rationally. That's the wisest way to handle it. They say that the more hot headed you are, the weaker your mind or will is.
  • Do not look for people's imperfections. You don't have to care a lot about how others present themselves or express themselves. Mind you, you're not perfect. If you desire to be accepted, other people desire for acceptance too. 
  • Watch out of your words. Remember that if you, yourself, don't want to hear painful remarks from other people, then other people certainly wouldn't want to hear them too. Speak calmly and be nice at all times. If you think you have to assert yourself or to necessarily correct somebody, say it in the kindest way possible.
  • Don't hesitate to give compliments and praises. When doing this, your goal shouldn't be to please the person, but to inform him/her. Be sincere when uttering compliments and praises. Learn to appreciate beauty and goodness and everything else worthy of recognition. You do not have to overdo this. One genuinely expressed sentence would certainly suffice.
  • Help as much as you can. Doing good deeds can enrich relationships. Lend a hand whenever you can. What is losing 5 minutes or more when you're doing it for someone worthy of your time? Nevertheless, remember that you still need to have time for yourself. You shouldn't exhaust all your efforts for other people and leave nothing for yourself. Let me mark this however cliche: You can't give what you don't have.
  • Strive to be happy no matter how bad your situation is. First things first, let me assure you that you have the ability to be happy no matter how bad the situation you're into. This is putting your mind at will. Your emotions should be controlled by your mind, not the other way around. Figure out what can make you smile or laugh. Look for the things that send you delight and make you feel lighter. Don't focus on that small dot in the center of your long pad paper. There is a vast space that surrounds it. When you're done with this, you'll see how your glow will positively affect the people around you. Take note: People are nicer when they're happy.
  • Love yourself. Enrich your relationship with yourself too. If you find it difficult to love yourself, try to zoom out and see yourself as another person outside you. Appreciate her. Understand her. Take care of her. Show care and express your concern for her. Recognize her right to be loved. Try to see what your friends or loved ones can see in you. Be yourself's bestfriend.