When God Stares

I lay awake in bed with You in my head.

It was a fine morning. 

The sun was gently shining, 

the temperature cool.

And I felt like You were staring at me,

staring with soft eyes.

Lovingly.

Adoringly.

Unflinching.

I felt like You were telling me 

that You were with me.

That I was never alone.

That I was protected, guided and cared for.

That I was loved.

I lingered on Your stare,

basked in it.

Minutes passed.

A few more minutes.

I felt Your presence soaking my skin,

then my muscles 

then my bones.

You are with me, Lord.

Then I sat,

and then stood.

And I lived the day.

Why we can't see through His eyes

I wish I could see through Your eyes, Lord,

especially now that things are unfathomable,

and my suffering feels interminable.

What will tomorrow bring?

Is it something better, wonderful, beautiful?

What is ahead of me that I cannot see?

I wish I could see through Your eyes, Lord

because all I could see now is a huge boulder.

Should I cross over? It could be too steep.

Should I crush it? It could take me years.

Should I change my path? I could be wrong.

Would whatever lies behind be worth it?

I wish I could see through Your eyes, Lord,

for I see nothing now but thick fog and black smoke.

Everything seems like a chaotic blur.

Truly, whatever's painful to behold, the eyes distort.

How vivid things are for You, Lord?

What is it that I fail to see?

I wish I could see through Your eyes, Lord.

Bring me hope. Give me light!

Tell me what's on the other side.

Tell me how the story ends.

And then what? Would I be happier?

No, the question is, would it make me wiser?

I wish I could see through Your eyes, Lord,

but if I could, what would be there to believe in?

If I could, would I be stronger?

If I could, would I still strive to become better?

If I could, would my love for You get deeper?
If I could, would I realize what matters most?