Showing posts with label understanding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label understanding. Show all posts

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Because We Don't Really Know


Even the most outspoken person won't tell you everything that's inside his head. 

One cannot know a person's entirety and say that he has the right to judge.

Who could claim that he knows EVERYTHING about his mother, father, brother, sister, best friend or lover? What more to a person you just saw walking along the street or eating at the table next to yours?

The thing is we don't really know.

We don't really know if he's been having a rough day at school/work,
or if he's not feeling well
or if he's just got heartbroken
or if he has a developmental crisis
or if he was raised that way
or if he's been exposed to that environment 
or if he has a dark past
or if he's keeping a secret
or if he hasn't learned that lesson yet
or if he's just different from you
or if he, too, doesn't know.

We're just looking at the tip of an iceberg, they say.

Don't judge.
Don't hate. 
Be considerate.
Be kind. 
Always understand.

Why should we?

Because we don't really know.

Or rather, 

they don't really know.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Why Other People Flaunt Their Strengths

I used to think that some people need their heads banged on the wall.

I like windy days but not "windy" people. "Windy" people are those who're aware that they have something worthy to be proud of and flaunt it right to other people's faces. They have this apparent overflowing confidence to the point of (unintentionally) making other people feel bad about themselves. 

You won't know if a person is "windy" until you talk to them. Usually, you could discern just by the person's extremely rising or ebbing tone of voice, his/her choice of words (often plenty of pronoun "I") and most importantly, the content of his/her sentences. I've been seeing, meeting and talking to such people almost everyday. I actually used to admire them . . . but then hate them, and now, I think I understand them.

I don't know if it's true for most "windy" people, but based on my observations and occasional conversations with them, they are merely compensating. These folks are fully aware of what's good about them as much as they're fully conscious of what's bad about them. So to bury the bad things down to prevent others from noticing, they magnify the good things. Well, for most parts, they're not doing it for other people but for themselves. They need a majority to confirm that they're personifying the "best version" of themselves wholly and clearly.

Along side with compensation, these people are usually perfectionists. They want to clear themselves out of their "bad sides". They tend to hide their weaknesses and efforts from people's knowledge. They instinctively defend themselves when committed a mistake, and they declare that everything's okay when frustrated or disappointed. Most of them can easily notice other people's flaws. Aside from their high standards, pointing out dirt to others' eyes can be their way of keeping their eyes out of their own dirt.

Gathering the two reasons above, let's say that these are all results of some dark history. Such people might once was cruelly treated by their parents, relatives, teachers or classmates, and that could have affected their self-esteem. Maybe, they used to be punished for failing marks or even for committing simple mistakes. Or it could be that they had an embarrassing experience which bore heavily in their minds and affected their self-concept. We can't know for sure what the cause is but probably, there is always a reason behind each behavior; we were born with minds as clear as empty slates.

Overall, I can say that "windy" people usually have the purest intentions. However, since they're more concerned about always putting their best version forward, they become insensitive of other people's feelings. "Windy" people may appear selfish or self-centered, but actually it is their insecurities which are killing them inside. It is their selves whom they're fighting against. Inwardly, they have a difficult, bloody battle
between the good and bad version of themselves. What they need is someone who could bring that long lost peace. Perhaps, only an accepting and loving person can do that. 

Without understanding, there is no acceptance. Without acceptance, there is no love.