Sunday, November 30, 2014

My Love Prayer


Dearest Lord,

I just want to say thank you for teaching me how to love. I used to know so little about it. I used to think it's a topic so mainstream that I didn't feel like talking, writing or learning about it. Now, I'm submerged in all its essence. Lord, I realized that I cannot hide or run away from love. It's going to chase after me whether I like it or not. Now, I feel like it succumbs my whole being. It deeply hurts, but it's transforming. No wonder why it has this sort of effect - You are love, and love is You.

You know my heart, Lord...so You know that I'm deeply in love. And You know that just as how deep my love is, that's how deep my pain is. I feel so strong, though. I feel so strong because I can't stop loving. I can't stop forgiving. Despite the torturing and persisting pain, I can still find the strength to love. I wonder how strong You are. But probably, You are far stronger; too strong that I won't be able to understand You.

Lord, I honestly think that a love like Yours isn't blinding. Love makes one's eyesight so clear that she can see through her loved one's heart, beyond words and beyond actions - things which others' naked eyes cannot see. So a lover does not give up on her loved one not because she's a fool but because she believes in his goodness. And once seen, there is no way she could "unsee" it. I have just found the reason why others love despite. I'm experiencing it myself. Lord, I've been so bad to You. But is this why You still love me?

I want to ask for Your forgiveness, Lord. I have loved so deep, but there are times when my emotions well up in me that I couldn't help but barf it all out in a projectile motion. I've hurt even my loved one, Lord. It's just that sometimes, I feel like I need him to know that he's hurting me. That he must do something about it. But I'm still sorry for I know I should have done it the right way. Lord, I want to be as patient as You. I want to have a patience so lengthy, I won't see its other end.

Lord, You are all-knowing, all-powerful and all-loving. I am nothing compared to Your magnificence. This is why I am well aware that there are things my love cannot do that only Your love can do. Lord, I know You love him far more than I can...so there's just one thing I fervently wish: Please teach him to love like You do.

Sincerely,
Elaine