Monday, April 28, 2014

The world is unfair, isn't it?

I think the world is, indeed, unfair. 

I used to think it's humans' natural tendency to look at themselves then look at others back and forth, unconsciously doing some comparison. Personally, I think I've tried comparing myself to others in all aspects; I'd often dwell on the fact that other people are A LOT MORE than me - a lot more attractive, richer, smarter, more skillful, braver and more self-willed. And then I'd let myself be eaten by it. "Why is he/she like that and I'm only this?" "Why are others have those and I only have this?" "Why can't I have that and they have it?" I even closed my ears at the compliments I received from my friends. I didn't care what I had. In my eyes, others were always luckier. I guess t'was because I wanted to be better each day. Only that I wanted to be better than everyone else. 

Suddenly, one day, something changed my way of thinking. That time, I was listening to an Affirmative Frame recording sent to me by my life coach (FYI: these are recordings, usually of ocean waves, dripping rain or any relaxing sound, embedded with subliminal messages which help a person achieve positive mindset). I had my earphones on, and my eyes closed. I was internalizing the ocean waves which sang in my ears. Swish. Swash. Swoosh. I could imagine the water slapping the stones along the shore, then pulling them back to its body. I imagined the strong blows of the wind, amply strong to form waves. The sky was clear. The sun was shining brightly. Everything was wonderful.

For a moment, I gave myself the freedom to enjoy what seemed to be in front me, thinking that I deserved it. I deserved to be in something wonderful. 

I opened my eyes. 

I thought, maybe life is just about living. And when I only care about living, probably I wouldn't care about what others have . . . only what I already have. Maybe life isn't just about getting better and better and better; it could also be about appreciating what's already better and beautiful. Maybe life is as simple as letting things (that're out of our control) happen, thinking of what really matters and leaving what does not.

Maybe, sometimes, I just have to live and don't care. 

Perhaps, I was right in thinking that the world is unfair. But life is fair enough to have itself in me.