Good bye, Mr. Right

I'm giving up that one fine morning

of waking up in bed with the guy

my heart would willingly

fall in love with and die for.

I'm giving up the sumptuous breakfast

we’d peacefully have on our dining table,

those sandwiches, fruits and milk

beneath a meaningful conversation.

I'm giving up that great company,

those hearty laughs, hugs and kisses,

those books we'd read in comfort and silence,
and our exchange of wise words.

I'm giving up those ecstatic Sundays

of lifting up our hands together in worship,

of uttering prayers, singing praises

and giving warm embraces.

I’m giving up that wedding ring,

that sacred promise at the altar,

those tears of overwhelming gratitude

and that loving and tender kiss.

I’m giving him up, Lord.

I’m letting go of “Mr. Right”

if he really does exist.

I surrender my romantic dreams to You.

I'm choosing You, Lord.

I'm choosing to have fine days, meals

and promises with You!

I'm choosing the cross and the habit.

Lord, You are my One True Love.

He calls

It hit me like lightning, 

one sunset,

while I was on bed, holding my rosary.

I was talking to Him,

prattling, actually,

and begging.

Then, it paralyzed me for a minute,

my eyes and mouth agape.

It took the form of a song,

that old and very familiar one.

Here I am, Lord

Is it I, Lord?

I have heard You calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if You lead me.

I will hold Your people in my heart.

Its words struck me deep, as always,

yet this time, 

it was sweet and piercing,

heavy yet weightless,

cold and burning!

But I held on to it,

and savored it in my mouth,

then down my throat.

It felt warm inside.

It went deep beneath my skin,

then into my bones.

Finally, it captured my heart,

every inch of it,

every valve and chamber,

every cartilage and muscle,

every vessel!

Next thing I know,

salty tears were streaming down my cheeks.

It was my longest one minute.

Yes, it hit me like lighting -

His voice.

Trembling, I acknowledged,

"God is calling."

Trust Me.

Trust me.

Trust me in the stillness of everything.

Where there is calmness and peace, there I am moving.

Feel my presence.

Hear my whispers.

Trust me.

How many times should I prove my love for you?

Embrace this moment's uncertainty,

and have faith in me.

I know your heart.

Just trust me.

I love you, child.

Trust in my heart.

I promise, I have great plans for you.

Know that I've been listening to your prayers,

and I'm working on it.

Trust me.

Snowflake

One night, the dark sky cracked and chinks of light seeped out of it.

Slowly, the light ate away the darkness.

It grew into morning.

And I'm cherishing this morning.

Every inch of it.

I've never inhaled air this deep.

I look at each moment's particle on my hands and it's beautiful.

Each moment's like a snowflake - pristine, unique and melting.

I can only imagine the thrill of having to explore, to unravel, and to appreciate its magnificence for a short while.

Then it melts.

And it vanishes.

Then it's gone forever.

And it's okay.

Peace Within

Heaven is inside us.

I can feel it here, deep within me. It's alive. I can smell the sweet scent of its green grass. I can see its ardent sun. I can hear its birds singing. Everything in heaven is beautifully placed. Everything's calmly moving. Everything's alright.

Everything's alright even when things seem to be in havoc outside its barriers, for heaven does not believe that what doesn't feel good or isn't beautiful is all evil. It could just be a crinkle in a cloth, a knot in a hem, or a bump on a road. Like happiness, pain is just one of the ingredients of a succulent life.

Everything's still alright, for our meaningful memories are embedded in heaven's walls. Anytime, we can cling on them and dwell on them instead on the energy-wasting, unhelpful ones. Heaven never forgets beauty that's why it's beautiful.

Everything's still alright, for heaven has a welcoming, accepting, gratifying and loving atmosphere. Heaven is grace-filled 'cause it finds goodness in each situation. Ugly things pass through heaven and come out radiant.

Everything's still alright, for heaven is forever at peace.

Heaven is our peace within.

Uncertainty

I am in a journey I didn't wish to start,

and I can see not where I am heading.

My map seems to point to Paradise though,

for the road lies in the Calvary

of bombarding uncertainty

and answered prayers,

but it's the same Calvary of dark abyss

where things are beyond my control,

where there's God's ringing silence,

and where I can only trust His heart.

I am in a journey I didn't wish to start,

and I can see not where I am heading,

so I just keep my eyes looking heavenward,

and my arms outstretched in worship.

I hold only to my faith, to the signs,

to my pain, and to my dreams.

I hold only to God's promises,

to that future, hope and prosperity.

I am in a journey I didn't wish to start.

I can see not where I am heading, but it's fine
for everyday I pray to God for surprises
and keeping things hidden and secret in the meantime
would make the unraveling a lot worthwhile.
Perhaps, God wants me to see
not the end of this journey, for all its worth,

so I could focus not on the end rewards

but on the beauty of the pilgrimage.

One True Love

Make my words thick with wisdom, Oh Lord,

and my songs of praise taste sweet in my lips.

May whatever comes out from the depths of my heart

be a fragrant scent to Your nose

and to the one You've prepared for me.

May we feel Your warmth as our eyes lock

and our hearts beat with the same passion for You.

Lord, we place our hands in Yours.

I pray that You bring us together

once we both brave the path of Adam and Eve

and abandon all other paths yet not ruefully,

once we're healed enough to touch each other's scars

when we run out of wisdom and strength,

and once we're ready to love each other for eternity

and to love You yet for more than our eternity.