I am happy today

I am happy today

because when I woke up in the morning,

it was cold, the rain was pouring.

I am happy today

because when I opened my book, 

it said,

"Start Clean Each Day."

I am happy today

because my father prepared me a hearty breakfast,

 tasty bacon partnered with sunny side up egg

plus a cup of sweet melon juice.

I am happy today

because the cold wind welcomed me

when I opened my door
the time my father pulled down the car near the office.

I am happy today

because I learned something new at work,

and I was able to apply most of them right away.

I am happy today

because I saw how the large windows of the office

became artfully blurred and fogged by the sudden burst of rain.

I am happy today

because I finished another day of work

and that tomorrow's going to be my rest day.

I am happy today

I'm declaring it now as I am writing this,

 even if the day hasn't ended yet.

I am happy today

because I want to

and I'm choosing to.

I am happy today

and tomorrow, I promise,

I'll be happy again. :)

Because We Don't Really Know

Even the most outspoken person won't tell you everything that's inside his head. 

One cannot know a person's entirety and say that he has the right to judge.

Who could claim that he knows EVERYTHING about his mother, father, brother, sister, best friend or lover? What more to a person you just saw walking along the street or eating at the table next to yours?

The thing is we don't really know.

We don't really know if he's been having a rough day at school/work,

or if he's not feeling well

or if he's just got heartbroken

or if he has a developmental crisis

or if he was raised that way

or if he's been exposed to that environment 

or if he has a dark past

or if he's keeping a secret

or if he hasn't learned that lesson yet

or if he's just different from you

or if he, too, doesn't know.

We're just looking at the tip of an iceberg, they say.

Don't judge.
Don't hate. 

Be considerate.
Be kind. 

Always understand.

Why should we?

Because we don't really know.

Or rather, 

they don't really know.

Dream, then pray.

Just one day, I thought of writing my goals in my spare notebook.  Scribbled in its front page are the words, "The mystery in a nutshell; Christ is in you, no more, no less."  

I realized, I really need a "dream/goal journal" since I have an ultimate dream which I, come hell or high water, am going to achieve! 

I've, so far, filled some pages with my "mapped out" career plan and "to read" books list. I put "checkboxes" so I could keep track of what I'm getting and what I'm not. What I'm not getting is equal to an alternative plan which is again, equal to another.

I'm happy to see one box already checked, and I'm currently in the process of making another box checked! 

Each morning, I read everything I've written there then say this prayer I wrote on top of the first page:

[Pray with me.]

Bless me Lord and all my plans. 

May Your dreams be my dreams. 

May Your will be my will. 

Otherwise, I surrender to You. 

I trust in Your goodness and love.

Amen.

I wish you all the best, reader! ;)

The world is unfair, isn't it?

I think the world is, indeed, unfair. 

I used to think it's humans' natural tendency to look at themselves then look at others back and forth, unconsciously doing some comparison. Personally, I think I've tried comparing myself to others in all aspects; I'd often dwell on the fact that other people are A LOT MORE than me - a lot more attractive, richer, smarter, more skillful, braver and more self-willed. And then I'd let myself be eaten by it. "Why is he/she like that and I'm only this?" "Why are others have those and I only have this?" "Why can't I have that and they have it?" I even closed my ears at the compliments I received from my friends. I didn't care what I had. In my eyes, others were always luckier. I guess t'was because I wanted to be better each day. Only that I wanted to be better than everyone else. 

Suddenly, one day, something changed my way of thinking. That time, I was listening to an Affirmative Frame recording sent to me by my life coach (FYI: these are recordings, usually of ocean waves, dripping rain or any relaxing sound, embedded with subliminal messages which help a person achieve positive mindset). I had my earphones on, and my eyes closed. I was internalizing the ocean waves which sang in my ears. Swish. Swash. Swoosh. I could imagine the water slapping the stones along the shore, then pulling them back to its body. I imagined the strong blows of the wind, amply strong to form waves. The sky was clear. The sun was shining brightly. Everything was wonderful.

For a moment, I gave myself the freedom to enjoy what seemed to be in front me, thinking that I deserved it. I deserved to be in something wonderful. 

I opened my eyes. 

I thought, maybe life is just about living. And when I only care about living, probably I wouldn't care about what others have . . . only what I already have. Maybe life isn't just about getting better and better and better; it could also be about appreciating what's already better and beautiful. Maybe life is as simple as letting things (that're out of our control) happen, thinking of what really matters and leaving what does not.

Maybe, sometimes, I just have to live and don't care. 

Perhaps, I was right in thinking that the world is unfair. But life is fair enough to have itself in me.

Why not worry?

Do not worry.

You might feel unlucky now, 

but you could feel unlucky again some time.

Your problems may seem to be heavier today

than the problems you had yesterday,

but you’re gonna have problems in the future all the same.

You might think that life used to be better when you were younger,

but actually when you were younger,

you wished you were still even younger.

You see, my friend, 

the fact is, there is always something to worry about 

as much as there is always something to be grateful for.

Do not worry.

Choose to be grateful. 

Choose to be happy.

Have faith, my friend

Have faith, my friend 

Even when your prayers seem unanswered,

and you can't get what you want.

Even when you're in need of help and comfort,

and nobody seems to be there for you.

Even when the one you love can't love you back.

Even when people hate you, mock you and insult you.

Even when you lose someone/something

who/which you know is irreplaceable.

Even when waiting seems endless

and becomes utterly painful.

Even when your job gets harder . . . 

and harder and harder.

Even when you barely see hope.

Even amid hunger and thirst.

Even amid natural disaster and war.

Even when in physical pain.

Even when the world isn't being fair.

Have faith, my friend. 

Just hold on.

The world may abandon you,

but God never will.

When I Was Peter

A thunder roared down to us. That night, the sky ran vastly dark and ugly. Our sailing ship was continuously shoved by the wrath of huge waves. We tried to unload by throwing baggage and buckets of water to the sea, but the sky endlessly pressed us with heavy rain.

I couldn't see clearly what was beyond us. My face and the rest of me was dripping wet. I shivered at the strong blows of the wind. I was afraid . . . afraid of drowning, of getting hit by lightning. I was afraid of death. I thought that if only Jesus chose to sail with us, He could have been there to save us.

The storm seemed unending and so was our struggle. The thunder roared again, even louder than before. A big wave pushed us hard on one side that we thought we'd sink. We screamed and braced ourselves. Surprisingly, another wave pushed us back and against, balancing the ship yet filling it more with water. I was fumbling for a bucket when from afar, I saw a figure of a man clad in white.

He was walking above the deep waters as if He was just walking on a solid ground.

One of us saw him too and shouted, "A ghost!"

The man, poised with calmness, turned to us and walked towards us. I looked around me, searching for a way to escape. I suddenly forgot about the waves and storm. All I thought about was how I could run away from this ghost. 

I swallowed hard, knowing there was no way out. The man went closer. He got approximately 2 yards near us when He stopped. I recognized who He was. 

Jesus. Jesus was walking on water. 

I held my gaze at Him, agape and almost not blinking. Despite the storm, His face remained as calm as ever. Suddenly, I felt like everything was fine. I thought He had left us to the lurch, but he was there. I teared up a bit out of joy, of gratefulness . . . and guilt. Slowly, He extended His arm to me as if inviting me to come to Him. His eyes told me that I could do it; that I'd be safe, that He'd be there for me and won't let me die from drowning or be electrified by lightning. His eyes told me to trust in Him.

It wasn't long before I saw myself getting out of the ship, dangling my feet at its edge. I looked at the sea water and wondered how deep it could be. I thought how impossible it was to stand and walk upon it. But then I looked back at Jesus. Without words, with just an arm extending to me, He assured me that it was possible.

I believed in Him and let my feet touch the sea water. It was a bit cold. I held my stare on Jesus. I believed in my rabbi. I believed in His power. I saw with my own eyes how he healed the sick and paralyzed; how the evil left the possessed man in His command; and how he brought the child and Lazarus back to life. Finally, I freed my hold on the edge of the ship. I smiled. Indeed, I had stood on water.

I made a step toward Jesus. I outstretched an arm to Him.

Yes, as long as You're there my Lord, I could walk on water. Let me come near You. 

I moved two more steps forward and saw a smile on Jesus' face.

Of course, it is possible! I knew You were right.

As I took another step, my eyes moved from Jesus to a huge wave which seemed to be coming to me. Quickly, I erased the peace that once embraced me and allowed fear to reign.

I gasped as the water underneath my feet went loose. I sank. I flapped and lifted my hands in panic, but the sea pulled me as strong and as deep as the fear I felt.

I'm gonna die, I thought. I had let fear kill me. Not the sea, not the lightning, not by a man. I drowned myself in fear with Jesus near me. Jesus knew I deserved death.